Can you share some funny quotes?

Can you share some funny quotes?

Sure! Here are a few:

1. "I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised!"
2. "I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already!"
3. "I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands."

Those are hilarious! Do you have any more?

Absolutely! Here are some more:

1. "I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!"
2. "Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!"
3. "I would tell you a joke about an elevator, but it’s an uplifting experience!"

I love these! Can you tell me who said them?

Sure! Here are the attributions:

1. The first one is often attributed to Groucho Marx.
2. The second one is a classic joke with no clear origin.
3. The third one is a popular pun without a specific author.

Thanks! Can you give me a funny quote about work?

Of course! Here’s one: "I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early."