Can you share some funny quotes?

Can you share some funny quotes?

Sure! Here are a few funny quotes:

1. "I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not too sure."
2. "I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it!"
3. "I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised!"

Haha, those are great! Do you have any more?

Absolutely! Here are a few more:

1. "I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right."
2. "I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off!"
3. "Behind every great man, there is a woman rolling her eyes."

These are hilarious! Can you tell me who said them?

Of course! Here are the attributions:

1. "I used to think I was indecisive..." - Unknown
2. "I'm on a seafood diet..." - Unknown
3. "I told my wife..." - Unknown (often attributed to various comedians) Most funny quotes are often anonymous!

Got it! Can you suggest some funny quotes about work?

Sure! Here are some funny work-related quotes:

1. "I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by." - Douglas Adams
2. "The only thing worse than a bad day at work is a good day at work." - Unknown
3. "I’m not lazy, I’m just on energy-saving mode." - Unknown